Growth

As much as I want to look forward, it’s impossible for me to not look back.  I can see the turn coming, I know the changes I want to make, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for them yet.  It’s a gradual process though, and I just have to keep working at it.  I read a quote somewhere that I can’t find anymore that says happiness isn’t just a switch you can turn on, it’s something you have to continually strive for.  I’m starting to strive now, but it’s hard because of how long I’ve just sat on my ass and accepted being unhappy.  

This is the start of change, but change is a long road that lies ahead of me with many twists and turns, countless peaks and troughs.  It’s going to be a long journey, but it’s going to be one of the most personally fulfilling things ever.  It’s a journey that I can’t make alone though, and I’ll take all the help I can get from anyone that wants to contribute.  

This is only the first step; I’ve only started to make the most superficial of changes.  It’ll take a while before I’ve made real progress, but this first step is arguably the most important.  I’ve always been one to struggle at getting things started, but I power through once I get the ball rolling.  That much I’m confident of.

I will make it though, no matter how hard it is.  I will not, can not give up.  

The perfect soundtrack to my state of mind right now: Floe - Philip Glass.  I was listening as I wrote, and it fit my thoughts flawlessly.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YdMAC0vXIA